Takin' punches left and right

The last few months have been the hardest of my life. I lost my job back in October and, in many ways, things have simply gone downhill since. It's hard to explain the immense feeling of failure and impotence that follow a job loss...especially when you love the job. Not to mention the hopelessness that comes with looking for work in this economy.

So far, I've landed only one interview. Actually, it was a two-step interview process with the same company. It went well, but they decided to promote from within instead of hiring a new applicant. So here I am, after nearly 5 months of job hunting, with nothing but a nice new suit and roughly 100 passed-over job applications to show for it.

Depression and doubt have been much more frequent in my daily life than I'd like. However, they've also caused me to far more reflective than I was before.

I've spent a lot of time soul-searching and looking inward. I haven't found all the answers yet...in fact, I think I may just be finding more questions, but I still believe it's been really healthy for me. I'm finally now, in my 35th year of life, realizing what I want out of life and what I'm NOT willing to have in my life.
After years of feeling conflicted about it, I've welcomed God back into my life (with MUCH thanks to the gospel of Jay Bakker at Revolution Church). I'm also getting back in touch with the Buddhist teachings which have helped me so much in the past.

I am trying to reconnect with some of my old friends, as the depression I've been dealing with caused me to shut myself in quite a bit over the last half-year. I really forgot how much more difficult life can be when you don't have many people to lean on.

I thank all of you who take the time to stop by here and I hope you are all doing well. I hope to have a lot more to write and share in the future.

- Shawn